Tuesday, June 18, 2013

A Native American Goes to NYC in Search of Mother Nature

The words expressed here may be unsuitable for some readers, discretion is advised!

I just returned from speaking at a global health conference in New York City. It was a great conference and there were many great speakers discussing very important global health topics. The major issue for me was not the conference or the folks connected with it. The main issue is NYC. I have been to NYC two times. Graffiti is everywhere. The streets are lined with trash. A taxi ride results in repeated panic attacks, horns blow constantly, drivers yell and thrown hand signs in anger, people walk past each other without acknowledgement, the air is nasty, trees are few and have about as much life to them as the over populated, deformed pigeons. 

The things that are manmade appear in need of constant repair. The things that were created by Mother Nature are overrun by man’s makings. Mother Nature is having a hard time in NYC with so many humans to contend with.

I had some time to kill before the start of the conference so luckily there was a small park nearby. I figured this is the best place to past some time and it was a nice, sunny day. There was a fountain in the middle, concrete walking paths, benches, a small grassy area, and a small play ground with a few ice cream venders.  From the airport to the park, which took about 25 minutes, caused about the same about of heart stopping incidences, and resulted in some moist underwear, this park was the only space between those two points, with more than one or two trees.

As I settled into my park bench spot that was well shaded and cool, I began to notice a few things happening around me. It all started with reading an article a few days back about Jesus appearing in a dog’s ass.

Now…I have worked very hard to try to understand our Creator and find some of the Creator’s messages and meaning in my life. If it turns out that I have been searching in the wrong spots, then so be it. I will certainly try to refocus my attention.

Being in NYC I was in luck. As it turns out, it seems like most people who live there own dogs. There are more dogs than trees to piss on. Most dogs in the park that day were also bred to have a tail that remains pointed up, purposely exposing their own little unique brown ass-button. If the Creator was to be found in a dog ass, this park provided prime opportunities.

I am not sure if it is God’s will to search him/her out or if these dogs and their parading asses force my eyes to look, but I must gaze upon them. It is the same strategy I used when looking into those painting that seem like nothing until your eyes make the necessary adjustment and reveals the spectacular 3-D stereogram image within.

It is extremely difficult to enjoy an ice-cream sandwich while my mind and eyes are concentrated on every passing little dog ass.
So, back to my larger point. Mother Nature and NYC are incompatible. Having a dog in NYC makes as much sense as having a penguin in Arizona. While folks who have a dog in NYC might benefit from companionship and improved mental health, there is no benefit for the dog. The same is true for a penguin in AZ. Mother Nature did not design the dog to live in studio apartments or outside on concrete. Mother Nature did not design the dog to spend their time outdoors on a mandatory leash.

When a dog takes a piss or lays a dump, Mother Nature designed it to, when done, kick up the grass and dirt around it. That is not a training issue it is a Nature issue.

Across the path from where I was sitting was a community water fountain. It is basically a stem that comes out of the ground with a bowl on top. Mostly children and foreigners drank from it while I was there watching. A larger brown and black mixed breed and its owner came walking towards this water fountain. The dog sniffs around the stem, lifts its back leg and without any hesitation from either the dog or owner, it proceeds to take a long, dark yellow, high pressured piss on that fountain. As soon as it was done and it’s lifted back leg returned to the ground, he was just about to make the scrapping on the ground move when he realized concrete is not grass. The back paw slowly and gingerly slid across the concrete failing to accomplish Mother Nature’s goal (kicking up grass and dirt). It was such an awkward move, the dog looked at its own leg like…"what the heck was that all about?” It finally turned and went on about its business.

NYC is in the process of altering and removing the Mother Nature in that and other dogs. It is doing it to humans as well. Same park, same bench. Again, because every other person walking around that day seemed to have a dog on a leach, I spot two young ladies, each with similar size dogs heading directly towards each other. The dogs meet first because all these dog owners have those leashes that can go out about 20 feet and then wind back in when the dog gets closer. The two small dogs act accordingly, their noses greet each other, they slip past to sniff each other’s under carriage and finally their noses lock onto the other’s ass spots.

Whenever a dog’s nose gets close to another dog’s ass, it is like what happens when my vacuum cleaner hoses gets too close to that little shag rug on my bathroom’s tile floor. The strange thing that happened is not the action of the two dogs, but their owners. As the humans stop to allow their dogs to greet and sniff, they both stand there, arms crossed with their backs to each other. The humans do not take this opportunity to engage with another human. While their dogs are greeting and getting to know their own species, the humans could care less about using this time to interact. The message sent between humans seems to be “I will stop to let my dog’s nose vacuum your dog’s ass carpet, but I'll be damn if I will even acknowledge your existence.”

I can’t imagine living in a place with so many people I have to ignore. Engaging and acknowledging our environments has always been in our human Nature. How and when did this change? The good news is that a dog’s nose and another dog’s ass will always come together and be joined. NYC would have a hard time removing that nature from dogs. The bad news is that what brought humans naturally together have been removed. NYC and Mother Nature have battled it out and Mother Nature was run out of town. She left NYC having smog in her hair, graffiti sprayed on her dress, and dog shit on her shoes. Peace, DAP

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